


Roll of the Die

by AndeliaMaddock



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol, Gunplay, Guns, M/M, Non Consensual, Rape/Non-con References, Violence, hurt comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-22
Updated: 2012-02-22
Packaged: 2017-10-31 14:13:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/344918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndeliaMaddock/pseuds/AndeliaMaddock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Feeling more cooperative? There's a fifty percent chance you're not lucky today. Do you like those odds?”</p><p>“No. I... I just. Give me a minute! Let me think, please...” Could he tell Droog about the plans? The man would expect him to tell everything, he'd made that clear in the beginning as he'd stripped Die and tied him up. There would be no room for messing up and no room for a lie. Droog would know it if he even tried; Die was no good at lying!</p><p>“No time. Six...Five... Four... Three... Two... One...”</p><p>Click.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roll of the Die

He tapped his fingers on the rim of his drink. Calm down. Calm down. There was no reason to panic. There was nothing wrong.

Maybe he'd gone and fucked up the entire mission. But no one had to know it was him that tipped Droog and the Midnight Crew off to what had been going on. No one had to know he had been the one that made things go wrong.

Die inhaled sharply. There was a knock at the door. Did he dare answer it? He set the drink down on his nightstand and crept over, quietly calling, “Who is it?” when he got to the door.

“It's Crowbar. Open up, Die. We need to talk, me and you.”

“Ok.” Oh god, he was going to get beat. Maybe Crowbar had never beat him before, but this was definitely it. This was definitely when he got beat. There was no one two ways about it. He'd be punished for royally screwing them all over and making Stitch work overtime to patch up almost the entire team.

The door opened and he panicked and ran back to his bed.

“What's your problem?”

“N-nothing! I don't have a problem.”

Those angled green eyes seemed to hone in on him and turn into narrow slits. Crowbar stepped closer, one hand holding his crowbar. “Uh huh. So you're acting more freaked out than usual because there isn't a problem?”

Die swallowed. The Jig was up, time to confess.

He bit his lip and pulled the pin on the voodoo doll. Yes, this was... oh shoot! He put the pin back in before Slick could shoot him. Alright. Alright, he was right back at the mansion and now Crowbar was on his bed, leaning up close, invading his personal space in the worst of ways. No, not the worst. He’d had that happen earlier. That was the cause of this all.

“What's going on, Die?” Fingers caught at his collar and Die shifted, trying to pull away.

“Nothing! There's nothing going on. You're just making me nervous, that's all!”

“So you just pulled my pin because you didn't have anything to hide and weren't trying to avoid confessing?”

“Yes! I mean, uh...”

“Does this have something to do with tonight's mission?”

“What? Haha oh Crowbar, you're kidding, right?” He smiled, though he could feel his left eye twitching. “That's so ridiculous!”

“Was going to come in here and congratulate you with how you actually didn't fuck up for once and you didn't get hurt, but that's not right is it?”

“Oh Jesus, Crowbar! I didn't mean to! I swear. I didn't mean to do anything, but I messed it all up!” He felt himself shivering, a full body shake. This was it. This was the end.

Crowbar glared. “Look. Just tell me what you did and we'll figure what to do with that. But if you don't tell me, I'll go right now and tell Snowman, and you know damn well how she'll get the info outta you. You want that?”

“No! Please, please don't tell her. I didn't mean to, I just--”

Crowbar's fingers grew tighter on his collar. “What. Did. You. Fuck up?”

“I accidentally got caught by Droog!”

“What?”

He shut his eyes, waiting for a blow. Instead, he got shook.

“Hey, open your eyes and tell me what happened.”

“I-I got caught by Droog. He uh he found me! And he asked me, real specific like, if I wanted to live or stay to my name!”

“So he threatened to kill you?”

“Yes! Oh god, I'm sorry. He had me so scared, Crowbar! I didn't mean to tell him...”

“You told him what we were doing, didn't you?”

“He made me!”

“But you told him.”

Die's lips quivered and he nodded. “I told him... I said what we were up to and why and how long and I couldn't seem to stop myself! He had a gun to my head and...”

“What happened to that training about not giving in under torture and threats?”

“I kind of, I don't know, forgot some of it?”

“Then I think its time you relearned it. We could all have died because of that, Die.” Those fingers on his collar tightened, pulling the material around his neck. Then in a moment he was being pinned to the bed. “What else did he threaten?”

“I-I, he just... the gun. And he said if I didn't tell him, he'd make sure I didn't even die, that I just... stayed alive a long time until he got bored! But if I did tell him, he'd let me live and then I could just go! But he tied me up then and oh god I'm a failure!”

The slap shocked him. He stiffened in Crowbar's grip and stared up, baggy eyes wide. “Why did you...?”

“You were talking too fast. Now here's the deal. No one has to know you're the reason almost everyone, except you, got shot up today. I can let it just slide and they'll just think you got lucky like Clover. Or I can tell everyone if you don't listen and do everything I say.”

“Wh-what do you want?”

“I'm going to teach you a lesson about sticking to your guns and not panicking so we all get shot. Got that?”

“Oh god are you going to shoot me? Please don't shoot me!”

“Jesus! No, I'm not going to shoot you!”

“Oh.”

“Are you going to do what I say?”

“Is this where I say no because I'm supposed to stick to my guns and not agree at threats of harm to me?”

Crowbar groaned and shut his eyes. “Holy Jesus, Die. You're the stupidest... no, Eggs and Biscuits are. But you're so close to being the dumbest in the whole fucking place. No, this is where you agree to do some training in torture because you want to not make this team sink because you're the weakest link. That's what this is.”

“Oh. Ok, so I'm supposed to say yes then?”

Crowbar nodded slowly on a deep exhale. “That's right.”

“Ok, then I accept I think.”

“Good.”

“You won't undress me, right?”

“What?”

“I-I just, I get to keep my clothes on this time, right?”

 

~~--~~

 

It was not good. This was not not not not NOT good! Die whimpered again, shifting against the bed he was tied to. “I don't think...”

“I said shut up.” Another whip with that revolver Die had seen before the blindfold went on. “I don't care what you think. You'll tell me what I want to know.”

Droog wanted information. That was all. He just had to give the information and he'd be freed like last time. But Crowbar made it clear if he told anyone outside of the organization the information, that Crowbar himself would make sure he suffered. He'd done this before, where he'd been forced to talk. He wouldn't this time! He couldn’t back down.

This couldn't end well at all.

With a blindfold on, the lights out, his body stripped, and his hands tied up above his head, he could readily believe he was going to be killed if he didn't confess the information Crowbar had given him. But... but it was so confusing.

For one thing, what was he supposed to do? Droog would kill him if he didn’t give the information that he'd been given. So if he gave Droog the information, then Crowbar would be angry and then... it was so confusing. Not to mention painful. So painful.

“I know your pathetic group has plans. I know you have information. Do you want to die, Die?”

That voice was just as calm and insane as he'd remembered from times before. It was beyond terrifying. “No. No! I don't want that.”

“You're asking to live up to your name.” The muzzle pressed to his throat and ground up against his chin. “Tell me what you know, and I might just spare you.”

“Y-you can't know, Droog. I can't tell you. I... I can't!”

He heard the safety click back. “Is that right? Shame.”

He felt his heart full on throbbing and a panic bloomed up in his chest. “Droog! You can't do this!” Crowbar wouldn't let this happen. He wouldn't. Crowbar had stopped Droog before. Come right in when he was being interrogated and helped him out.

“You're wearing my patience thin with your games, but that's alright.”

“I-it is?”

“That's right.”

That was not a good thing for Droog to say. That was a foreboding, bad bad thing. Die whined. “Please, Droog.”

“Do you know why it's alright, Die?”

“I, no, I don't know.” He didn't want to know.

“Because we're going to play a game. Have you heard of Russian Roulette?”

Oh god oh god oh god. “No. No, please!”

“Have you? Haven't you?” The gun slid down his chest, then circled a nipple and moved right back to his neck, pressing hard against his pulse point.

“I-I have!”

“Do you know how it works?”

“I... yes.”

“Then listen to this.”

He could here the click of metal, and he heard what he'd say were bullets moving about and clinking against each other in Droog's hand.

“Hear that? Five bullets, safe in my hand. The sixth? That ones for you, unless you give me a reason not to blow it through your green skull. So you've got a few chances to tell me what the plans are. Got that?”

“I-I understand.” This was happening. Droog placed the bullets on his chest and he could feel each one. Five of them, from a six round revolver. This was the worst thing of his life.

“And you know you're not Clover. Your luck can run out, Die. I'm willing to give you one more chance before I pull the trigger. Confess. Tell me what's going on.”

“I can't!”

He heard a small growl, then, even with the blindfold on he winced and shut his eyes. He heard the click of the trigger pulling back and-- nothing.

He wasn't dead. Alright. Alright.

“There isn't any spinning in this game, Die. You've got a one in five chance to live now. Do you like those odds?”

“N-no.” But what could he do? He couldn't give in! He couldn't...

He tensed and flailed weakly about when the trigger was pulled again.

Apparently it was a one in four chance now. Twenty five percent chance he died on the next shot.

Die panted hard, shifting on the bed and pulling hard against the metal chains that held his wrists to the bed posts. “Please, Droog! Droog... I can't tell you! I can't endanger them and...”

“Hmm.”

He swallowed. The trigger clicked back again and this time was it. It was just going to be it and--

Nothing. Alright. Alright for now he was safe. But how long would that last? Oh God, he only had so much time and if Droog killed him no one would come and then Droog would get them anyway and who was he kidding, he wasn't a hero! He couldn't protect his team! “Please, Droog!”

“One in three. Do you like those odds more?”

“No! I... I can't do this please I just can't.”

Click.

Bang? No bang. Ok, no bang.

One in two said he was going to die next. He wasn't Clover! If that trigger pulled he was a dead Die! God why was this happening to him? Why wouldn't anyone come in and help him? What had he done that was so bad Droog had him like this?

“Feeling more cooperative? There's a fifty percent chance you're not lucky today. Do you like those odds?”

“No. I... I just. Give me a minute! Let me think, please...” Could he tell Droog about the plans? The man would expect him to tell everything, he'd made that clear in the beginning as he'd stripped Die and tied him up. There would be no room for messing up and no room for a lie. Droog would know it if he even tried; Die was no good at lying!

“No time. Six...Five... Four... Three... Two... One...”

Click.

Oh God. There was no going back. No bullet in his brain, but that meant the next round was a killer. “Ok! I'll talk oh god please Droog just let me breath and I'll talk. I'll tell you anything!”

“That's better.” Droog moved against Die, straddling further up Die's body.

It was just about then that Die realized that Droog had been getting off most definitely from what was going on. There was a thick bulge pressed against his body. Right after that shocking realization, he heard a zipper going. “D-droog?”

“I don't hear you explaining anything.”

“What are you doing, Droog?”

“Getting comfortable.”

“Droog!” He could feel it, that long hard length pressing against his stomach. Oh God this was almost worse. “Please, I'll talk!”

“Then start talking.”

~~--~~

Die whimpered into Crowbar's jacket, holding himself against his larger team member. “I didn't want to tell him. I couldn't get away!” Twice that night, twice that night he'd been terrified.

He'd expected more anger, more insults and shouting and threats that Crowbar would teach Die how to not be a coward at the expense of more torture. In fact, he'd agreed to that so it wouldn't go to Snowman who would definitely punish him.

But this? Crowbar was just holding him and shaking his head. “Look, Die. I, I didn't think even Droog would do that. But it's not your fault, ok?”

“I should have kept my mouth shut. I should have just,” he was crying and he really wanted to finish that drink off. He really, really wanted that drink. He hadn't earned it though. Die shook, trembling on the bed and all but in Crowbar's lap. “I should have made him stop.”

Crowbar sighed.

Die was being so terrible, carrying on like this. “I'm really sorry. I'm sorry, I'll be good and just let you torture me so I get stronger.” How could any of his team count on him if he gave in so easily? They couldn’t!

“Jesus, after that? Come on Die. Come on. I couldn't after that. You probably got the worst of it from all of us.”

“But he didn't shoot me!”

“Well, no one else died, right? Stitch patched everyone up. Look, just, you stay with someone now when you're on the lookout. We don't need that happening again. So you just stay with Clover or something, alright?”

“But I-”

“No. Just look, Die. I figured you'd done what you did last time and just caved, all easy like it was nothing. But Jesus, talk about really holding in until the last minute. I mean, if you held on that long, went through all of that, I guess I can't really blame you. Don't think many of us on the team would be able to take that and not be neurotic over it after.”

Die blinked up at him.

“Not that you're not neurotic. You're a mess. But you kind of always are, but this? This seems a lot worse.”

Die sniffed.

“Just look, you calm down and relax, alright?”

“But I'm the weakest link and I-”

“It's like I said, we'll just pair you up with someone. It's not like we don't have enough men here who can group off with you. Comes down to it, I can pair up with you myself, alright?”

“You mean that?” He wiped under his baggy eyes, smiling weakly.

Crowbar grumbled. “Yeah just, don't mention it. Really. I don't need the guys thinking I'm soft at all. So you keep your lips shut, and I'll keep mine sealed about what Droog did, got it?”

“Y-yeah. I got it.”

“Good. Fuck. You got more shot glasses? Think I might need a drink too.”

“Yeah, I have five over on the mantle.”

“Who could have figured.” Crowbar rolled his eyes and stood, striding over the mantle and grabbing one of the delicate crystal shot glasses. “You've got something at least somewhat good to drink, right? What's that?”

“Uh, it's just some whiskey I got.”

“Good enough for me.”

No more torture and he got to spend some time drinking with the only guy on the entire team who normally didn't think he was a total and complete fuckup.

It was still a night to just get plastered and not care what happened, but it was slightly better with Crowbar there and not angry anymore.

~~--~~

Die panted a bit, laying back on the bed and just letting the alcoholic haze take over.

Crowbar lay beside him, drink still in hand. “You're kind of a lightweight.”

“S-sorry.” He shut his eyes. Die couldn't even drink correctly.

“Why're you sorry? Jesus, you apologize too much.”

“S-so... I mean.”

Crowbar laughed with a deep rumble beside Die on the bed. “You're hopeless Die.” Crowbar's free hand reached over and knocked Die's hat away, then rubbed Die's head. “I don't get how we even got you in this business.”

“Sor—I mean. There wasn't anything else for me to do, really.”

“I hear that. Definitely didn't think this is where I'd be back when.”

“What did you want to do with your, you know, your life?”

The hand holding Crowbar's drink tipped it up to his lips and he downed it. “I don't really remember, it's been so long.”

“Are you sure you don't remember? I remember what I wanted to be.”

“I just said I don't remember, so leave off, will ya?” Crowbar scratched lightly along Die's head.

“Sorry.” Die winced and moved closer, curling against Crowbar.

“Fuck. Look, you tell me what you were gonna be when you were little and I'll tell you, got it? Just stop apologizing, that's getting me real wound up.”

“Ok. Umm. I wanted to be... a teacher.” Die curled up into himself more, preparing for laughter.

Instead he felt the bed shift and Crowbar facing him. “A teacher?”

“Y-yes. I uh, I wanted to teach. Kids and stuff.”

“What subject.”

“I like math so uh, math.”

“You don't say?”

“Umm, actually I do, but I mean...”

“I always hated math in school.”

“Oh.”

“The kids would tear you apart if you were a teacher.”

“I know. That's why I didn't.”

“That's the only reason?”

“No, but that's a big one. Now wh-what about you? What did you want to be?”

“Fuck.” Crowbar flopped back over, staring at the ceiling. “You really want to know? Really?”

“Yes. You agreed, remember?”

“Yeah fine, I guess I did. Fine. I wanted to be...”

“Yes?”

“I wanted to be a police officer.”

Die covered his mouth, trying to stifle the giggles.

Crowbar reached over and slapped the back of Die's head. “Knock that giggling shit off, what, you want me to make you stop?”

“N-no, sorry, I didn't mean to laugh its just... a police officer. In this town. You.” He was back to giggling again and curling up into a ball while Crowbar smacked his back, sides, and head.

“Knock it off! Damnit, this is why--”

Die uncurled and moved up, real close to his face, “I think it's cute.”

“I ain't fucking cute, Die.”

“Yes you are. That's adorable.” Die grinned wide and leaned closer. “I thought it was funny that I wanted to teach kids, but here you wanted to protect and serve and whatever. That's adorable.”

“Shut up!”

“Ok.” Die kept grinning though, that grin not fading no matter how many slaps his leader gave him to the back of the head or elsewhere.

Crowbar grumbled and poured another drink for them both.

~~--~~

Die relaxed next to Crowbar on the bed.

This was nice and not terrifying at all. Crowbar wasn't angry at him. Crowbar was ok with him. Not only that, but Crowbar had just spent the last few hours drinking and talking with him, like they were actually friends or something.

That probably wasn't the case. It was probably pity that made the other Felt member actually want to stay with him. That was definitely it.

Die could handle pity. He wasn't used to it, but it was nice to get some when normally the emotions the other Felt members felt for him was disgust. Pity was a pleasant change. He even got to learn more about Crowbar than probably any of the other guys knew. Almost like he was special. Almost like Die actually mattered.

He curled up against Crowbar's sleeping body.

Things still hurt and he was still beyond horrified about anything Midnight Crew-- and especially Droog-- related, but he could handle this right then. Die could just calm down and chill out. For once, he didn't feel himself apprehensive about going to sleep.

Maybe the nightmares would come, maybe not, but he felt comfortable and content just then, so he didn't really care. He'd see what happened.

But maybe if any nightmares did come, Crowbar would be paired off with him and make them go away.

Die smiled and slipped off into sleep.


End file.
